A Review of Get Out of My Head by Andrew McConnell

To my surprise, some people in my entourage asked “what’s that?” when I presented them with my
book focusing on Stoicism. While I did not expect them to have adopted or even read about the
philosophy, or adopted any life philosophy, I thought that at least most people knew something about it. In retrospect, my assumption was silly (as most are). Why did I know about it? Because I picked up a copy of Seneca’s letters decades ago. But, I was searching for something we all look for but in places few do not tend to look. The fact is that half the population stop reading once they no longer have to in order to get their high-school diploma, even among those that do, few will turn to philosophy. An obligatory 101 course in University is unlikely to give people the bug – in most cases it does the very opposite. Thus, it makes perfect sense that Stoicism would be a foreign word to many.

However, we need only look at the number and the popularity of self-help books to see that a philosophy of life, advice on how to live well, has not fallen out of fashion. This is why I wrote my Stoic journal, to point people (by people, I mean my daughters at the very least) towards the guidance of these ancient sages. By juxtaposing their advice with other philosophers, psychologists (their writings areas much psychology as they are philosophy), writers (who are psychologists without declaring as much), and doers of all kinds, we get a glimpse into the timeless quality of this life advice.

As a longtime fan of the ancient philosophy, I approach new books on Stoicism with a mix of enthusiasm and skepticism. I am eager to read new interpretations that bring to life the powerful principles of the school of thought. And, I am also doubtful that I will learn anything new. After all, Stoicism is simple to grasp – conceptually that is. But simple is not necessarily easy. Going from theory to practice is an lifelong challenge. It was for Seneca, so much so that a new movie based on his life uses that tension between the principles and the difficulty of adhering to them to craft a compelling plot (March 2023: Trailer). Marcus Aurelius’ meditations is not an instruction manual as
we often take it, it’s his workbook, he’s reminding himself how to practice Stoicism. So, McConnell’s Get Out of My Head lingered in the pile of newly acquired books with a few others, some touching on Stoicism. And, as I finished books I had already began, I would see the spine poking out from the pile and at once be tempted to dive in, yet I would discipline myself to stick with the book on a new topic I had in hand. I would tell myself not to get lazy and indulge in something I already knew plenty about. In essence, I was torn, tempted to run back to a first love and to not reach for a comfortable old slipper.

Once again, my assumptions were wrong, on multiple fronts, my usual skepticism was misplaced when it comes to Get Out Of My Head. To begin, to treat it as a book about Stoicism is perhaps a mistake; while Stoicism provides a solid backbone to the book, it is essentially a book about living well. This should not come as a surprise, that is what Stoicism is all about. However, too many books on the topic explain the philosophy to the reader and thus lose them from the get-go – in a word, they are too academic to appeal broadly – the writer is stuck in their head and therefore does not get into the head of the reader. We are storytelling animals and this book is an artfully weaved collection of vignettes, at times heartwarming, often inspiring or full of suspense, and always insightful, that illustrate the lessons of the philosophy vividly. McConnell’s life experience is mingled with the stories of people from all walks of life: entrepreneurship, adventure and travel, sport, military, parenting, business, and more, making it a non-fiction book that reads like novel, we see the characters learn and grow from beginning to end. I came to the book for the Stoicism and stayed glued to it for the stories.

I would be remiss to only portray this book as a collection of stories that illustrates a great life
philosophy well, for it was much more than the stories that captivated me by this book. The Stoic in me was engaged on two levels. First: practice: As I mentioned, the philosophy is simple, yet hard. The examples in the book bring to life how to practice the life-changing principles of Stoicism. I immediately dove into the workbook and began the audio version so to keep the reminders top of mind. Second, theory: The intellectual within me was always eager to get to the next chapter and see how McConnell would tie the next subject to his central theme of ownership. Get Out of My Head is about escaping the prisons we choose to live inside. It is, in a sense, an extended meditation on Marcus Aurelius’ journal entry, “You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” Who does not strive to have more ownership of their time, their emotions, and by extension, their life? Does that not begin by owning your thoughts? Is any form of strength more important?

To get out of your head is to stop overanalyzing, to do rather than over think. It is an invitation to fully absorb yourself in the present moment. It can also be an eviction notice to negative thoughts and ideas that weight us down and are no longer serving us. Get Out of My Head is aptly titled as it combines modern stories with ancient lessons to help us do both. Overall, it is foremost an injunction; a vote in favor of owning your mind instead of renting it to distractions that pull you from the gifts the present moment is offering you as well as from ideas that pull you away from living somebody else’s life. Was this not what brought me under the spell of Stoicism, when I first I read Seneca? Was it not his insistence that you treat your life as exactly that? Yours.

For these reasons, this book hit the mark. This is a book I’d readily give to those who ask me what
Stoicism is. With the wealth of entrepreneurial anecdotes, this is one I’d put in the hands of all
entrepreneurs in my entourage, or anyone who endeavors to do anything different, anything that will likely deliver a steady steam of stressors and challenges – irrespective of them having any interest in Stoicism.